High Seas, Low Budget

“I figure it’s cheaper than a nursing home,” says Loren Maxfield. He’s probably done the math. Maxfield, who lives in McAllen, Texas, when he’s not at sea, is 88. He took his first cruise just 18 years ago. This is his 68th aboard Commodore’s Enchanted Isle. And he’s booked to repeat, nearly every other week, from now until Christmas.

Cheaper than a nursing home? There’s probably as much truth as humor in Maxfield’s maxim.

The starting price for this week-long Caribbean cruise is around $500 a person, but there are even better bargains to be found. One couple from Pittsburgh boasts of booking the cruise over the Internet at the 11th hour and getting a cabin for less than $850. Total. For both of them.

At that price, this is undoubtedly lots cheaper than a good nursing home. And unlike the passengers on most other cruise ships, the passengers aboard the Enchanted Isle are actually younger than most nursing home residents. Not a lot of blue hair aboard. Not a lot of blue blood, either. That has a lot to do with cost.

This is an economy cruise—make no mistake. That appeals to the younger traveler. And middle-class families. The ship is small by today’s standards—about 350 cabins; capacity: 725. And it’s old. Christened in 1958 and rechristened more than once, the Enchanted Isle did duty for a couple of years as the Hotel Commodore in Russia. The cabins and public rooms are less than opulent. Early Ramada Inn comes to mind. The deck chairs don’t always match.

The first day out, the seasoned traveler’s first impression of the Enchanted Isle and its guests might be “unsophisticated.” The second day out, the word “unpretentious” springs to mind. The passengers are decidedly middle-class. And happily unaffected.

Maxfield, the Enchanted Isle’s unofficial ambassador, is a retired engineer who operated industrial plants for more than 40 years. He’s cruised aboard the Princess, Holland America, Norwegian and Crystal lines. He could afford them. He sticks with the Enchanted Isle.

“I’ve met thousands of people, and I never met one person on this ship I didn’t like,” Maxfield says. “And if I do meet somebody I’m just not too fond of, well, I know come Saturday, I’ll never have to see ’em again.” He’s so enchanted with the Enchanted Isle, he’s bought stock in the cruise line.

There are no “name” entertainers appearing on the ship’s nightclub marquee. But did you really come to the Caribbean to see Florence Henderson? Or Hal Linden? The singers and dancers on the Enchanted Isle are mostly young journeymen. But what they lack in star power, they more than make up for in horsepower. And they like the audiences on this ship. The younger passengers are somewhat hipper, and there’s more audience participation.

At 30, Neil Taffe is the senior member of the Ray Kennedy Entertainers —a song-and-dance troupe whose act leans heavily on schmaltz and energy. It works perfectly. Taffe’s the rookie when it comes to cruise entertainers. But his credentials are solid. A young veteran of New York cabaret and off-Broadway, he has traveled the world with a touring company of Smokey Joe’s Cafe. “On the ship, the total time performing is only 12 or 15 hours a week,” Taffe says. But the performers on this ship do double duty. And triple duty. In addition to headlining in Meet the Millennium, Neil leads an aerobics class, assists with swimming pool games, works the lip-sync show and dances in the Mexican fiesta.

Oh, he and his costars also help with the lifeboat drills. “We get off last,” he says.

It seems everybody has at least two jobs on the Enchanted Isle. Dan Stapleton, the cruise director, is also the ship’s magician. He looks not much older than one of the Ray Kennedy Entertainers, but he’s been at this business for two decades. Met his wife at Ringling Bros.’ Circus World in Orlando. She trained elephants; he made magic. Then he made her his assistant, and they took their act to sea.

A few years later, he made her the mother of twins. Now he cruises alone. Spends two months off the ship with his family, and they join him for cruises. “Most entertainers are single,” he says. “Most don’t stay at it as long. But our family is used to it. It sounds cold, but we’re used to it.”

Why does he do it? Well, the pay is good. “But,” Stapleton says, “for most performers, it’s not so much what you get paid; it’s what you save. No mortgage; no food bills; no car payments; no car insurance.” It’s also a matter of going where the gigs are.

Jim Gobel, the comedian star of the show, works cruise ships about six months out of the year. He says he likes the audiences better than the ones on shore. But then there are more of them, too.

“There used to be six comedy clubs in a big city,” says Stapleton explains. “No more. This is where the action is.” He quotes the legendary magician Harry Blackstone: “Vaudeville didn’t die—it just went to sea.”

Loren Maxfield, who’s certainly old enough to remember vaudeville, catches every show on this ship. By now, he must know most of the lyrics and every punch line. Through scores of cruises, his life has revolved exclusively around the activities on board. He never leaves the ship on day excursions, and only rarely ventures ashore to make a phone call.

“I like the people, and I like it here on board,” says Maxfield, who’s apparently been busy collecting punch lines in the nightclub. “After 68 cruises, I’m very good when the ship’s at sea,” he says. “When it’s at the dock? That’s when I wobble.”

IF YOU GO:
The Enchanted Isle sails out of New Orleans to Playa del Carmen and Cozumel, Mexico; Grand Cayman, Cayman Islands; and Montego Bay, Jamaica. Base price for an inside cabin, with upper and lower berths, is $479 per person for the seven-night cruise. Deluxe suites during peak season are $2,100 per person. If the cabin is booked 120 days prior to the confirmed sailing date, the second person cruises free (paying only port and handling charges). For more information, phone 954-967-2100 or go to the Web site at http://www.commodorecruise.com. Most major airlines fly to New Orleans; Southwest is introducing the only daily nonstop from San Diego later this summer

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